When Mother’s Day Isn’t A Hallmark Card

Conspiracy theorists believe that Mother’s Day was fabricated by greeting card companies as a way to boost flagging sales during the month of May. If so, then Mother’s Day succeeded as a brilliant business strategy because Americans drop a lot of cash on the second Sunday of every May. And why not? Mothers everywhere deserve at least one day a year when their heroic efforts of love and sacrifice are honored and appreciated.

But lets consider for just a moment the women who find Mother’s Day to be the most difficult holiday of the year. Lets extend a fragrant bouquet of comfort to the women who struggle.

I remember the year when I stood frozen in the greeting card aisle, awash in a pastel kaleidoscope of pink and purple, realizing that I could no longer buy my mom a card. She had passed away less than a month before, and that stark awareness took my breath away. Stifling a sob, I hustled through that aisle like a drowning swimmer struggling to the surface for a breath of air.

There are also women who struggle with infertility, with arms that ache to hold a child of their own. Mother’s Day never comes for them. They honor their own moms and grandmothers with fierce dedication even though their own deep yearnings go unmet.

And then there are the moms who have lost a child, either young or old it doesn’t matter. Military moms who know that five stars can never ease the emptiness of a son or daughter who isn’t coming home for Christmas. Moms who held their child’s hand as they took their last breath. Moms who got that 3 AM call that every parent dreads. Moms who lost children to drugs and alcohol, where nothing they did could rescue the child they loved from the powerful pull of addiction. Moms who were rejected and discarded by their children and remain in a silent state of estrangement.

Hallmark needs to create a Mother’s Day bereavement card. It would sell like hotcakes.

I am truly happy for all the moms who can unreservedly celebrate Mother’s Day because none of these tragedies happened to them. They deserve to revel in armfuls of spring flowers, and at every brunch, church service, and backyard barbecue given in their honor. But for those of us who struggle, let me offer some encouragement.

Holy Mary, mother of God, blessed art thou among women.

Did you ever wonder why the Church practically deifies Mary, the mother of Jesus? There are many thoughts on this subject (all of them good), but I think the enduring legacy of Mary is carried by God’s own love. Nobody loved their mom more than Jesus.

That horrible dark day, when the sun stood still, when the earth shook, and the world crucified the Son of God. Who stood by, watching it all? Mary. How could she endure it? Mary knew Jesus was Messiah, but at the beginning of his earthly life all Mary knew was that Jesus was her son, and she was his mother. John, the dearest of Jesus’ disciples, records this scene (John 19:25—27 NLT).

Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.

Dear woman.

In agonizing pain, with his dying breath, Jesus spoke these tender words to his mom. He knew that she would carry the heavy shroud of grief for the rest of her days. She would need a safe place and a son who could look after her. An earthly son who would understand the horrific sacrifice she endured.

No one treasures the heart of a mother like Jesus. He cares for and cherishes your longsuffering acts of devotion, even when no one else notices. He is merciful and compassionate when you are mourning, rejected, and afraid. He has the power to lift you up from your despair, shelter you, and care for you all the days of your life. Even if no one else sees or understands your pain, Jesus does.

After his resurrection, Jesus would elevate the dignity of women even further when he presented himself to Mary Magdalene. We don’t know if she had children—it’s not mentioned in the scriptures. But we do know that Jesus placed extraordinary value on her life when he unveiled her as the first person to greet the risen Christ.

So however you spend Mother’s Day, know that you are cherished and dearly loved.

Your life as a woman matters to God. There’s just no mistaking it.