The Christmas Gift I Didn’t Ask For

Most Americans are familiar with the iconic movie A Christmas Story in which the exuberant Ralphie has his heart set on one gift for Christmas—the Red Ryder BB gun. We smile with amusement as we watch him envision his exploits with this sharpshooting toy that will transform his humdrum suburban life into a heroic adventure. We smile because, at some point in our life, that was us. Or maybe it’s still us. Perhaps that young place that believes in the power of the perfect Christmas gift is still very much alive in our souls.

 As we grew older, the desire for the perfect gift aged with us. BB guns morphed into yearning for a life partner, a loving family of our own, a more fulfilling job, or financial security. And then, when these wishes were fulfilled and family expanded the boundaries of our life, we wished for the people we loved to have the perfect Christmas gift too, so we worked very hard to give it to them.

There is something powerful and eternal in our desire for the perfect Christmas gift.

Life’s many hardships, broken relationships, physical pain, and emotional suffering have worked very hard to grind it out of us. In response, many of us have given in to resignation—we just lower our expectations and endure the holidays with a minimum level of joy. We hold back. It’s just easier than getting our hopes up, isn’t it?

There were many years when I asked God to be my Heavenly Santa Claus. “Dear God—just answer this one prayer and I know my life will improve so much that I’ll love and serve you forever!” God never scorned my fervent desire for these gifts. Quite the contrary, he offered grace and kindness to my world-weary heart, even when the desired gift didn’t appear.

He answered me and gave me what I didn’t ask for. This is the hidden message of Christmas. It’s easy to miss, even when it’s hiding in plain sight.

If you follow my blog, you  probably know about some of the losses I’ve endured these last few years. The Giver of Great Gifts hasn’t shown up in the big areas of my life, the ones that felt like they might kill me. Or, more accurately, he didn’t show up the way I wanted him to. I want the easy remedy, relief from pain, healing for physical suffering, my dearest friends with cancer to be healed, the people who abandoned me to return to my life. I want the bombs to stop falling over Ukraine and the suffering church in Afghanistan to be free from religious persecution. I want more peace and less division among the many people I love.

The arrival of the Christmas season only intensifies my desire and my aching emptiness when things don’t seem to ever change. Perhaps you’re Christmas feels like that too.

At Christmas we rejoice in the arrival of Jesus, God’s son, to this world. We celebrate Emmanuel, God with us, and the promise of eternal light in a world gone dark. But Jesus doesn’t show up with a Red Ryder BB gun, does he? He’s no Saint Nicholas checking off the items on our wish list. And unfortunately many of us will miss out on the One True Gift that he has given to all of us, the one we never asked for.

Jesus’s earthly life was filled with an unending stream of people who came to him in desperate circumstances asking for miracles. The beautiful gospel accounts of Jesus’s life describe how he met thousands of people at the point of their greatest need. But he was also very mindful of the people who sought only the gift, not the giver. There are many stories of Jesus leaving a town where people only pursued him for the signs and wonders he could perform. He had a deep understanding of what motivates the human heart and knew that some people would never receive his One True Gift of love and eternal life. They refused to enter into a relationship with him because they were much too committed to creating their own life without him.

God’s gift to all of humanity is an intimate, loving, forever relationship with Jesus. Given the magnitude of our present day tragedies, this may sound like a consolation prize. Or maybe an intangible, other-worldly experience that will never meet your needs. But rest assured, there is nothing more perfect that God’s gift of love at Christmas. It will nourish your soul, bring you love and peace, and strengthen your heart as you walk through the hardships this year may have brought you.

My prayer for all of us is that we unwrap the perfect gift of God’s love this Christmas. That we let go of our frenetic striving to single-handedly write and rewrite our own life story, a life that will never give us the love and meaning for which our hearts yearn. That every heart would prepare him room, where heaven and angels sing, where we can at last feel like we have come home.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.

Isaiah 9:2-3; 6-7 (NIV)